Something happened to me that night I sent out a plea for help. It’s as though a switch was thrown in my brain automatically without my being aware of it. Like a train moving down a track - someone throws a switch and the train just goes wherever the track leads it, not the engineer driving the train. Well! Someone threw me off track that night and my life has not been the same since.
I woke up the next morning the same as usual with no memory of the night before. I just knew I’d had a really good sleep. I dropped Caprice off at school and headed to the beauty parlor owned by my friend Eva to have my hair cut. She was a little behind so as she finished up with her client I sat in the chair next to her to have a chat. She introduced me to the woman and said she was a visiting psychic in town to do readings. Eva had tried many times to coax me into having a reading but my answer was always a flat out NO! I remember one time she and I were in Calgary for a day of shopping and she had booked an appointment with a psychic for a reading. I had to wait in the woman’s living room for an hour and every minute was torture for me. I felt so uneasy, like the walls were closing in on me, and when Eva was finished I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. So you can imagine the look on Eva’s face when I, her friend, a dyed-in-the-wool skeptic, asked this woman for an appointment to have a reading. I surprised myself - I almost looked behind me to see who had said that.
As I drove up to the psychic’s house the next morning I felt nervous and anxious asking myself why I am doing this, but I knew I had to – and then - as I am writing this the thought comes to me I should dig out that reading done twenty-three years ago and listen to it. Blow me over with a feather!
"Your soul is directing you at this point; - you are going to have the understanding of why things are the way they are, not only for yourself but for your family as well; do you have a handicapped child?- You will come to understand why this is and this is going to be a very powerful experience for you and you will be so grateful to have this understanding that comes through personally experiencing it; - you are going to be sharing with others your own personal experience!"
There was much more that she said that makes sense to me now, but not then. How is it I do not remember any of this? Nothing I am hearing is what I remember. She actually had nailed where I am today in my understanding of spiritual phenomena, but back then? I didn’t have a clue. Looks like we cannot trust in our memories alone because they are definitely colored by our emotions and our belief systems. It all went right over my head. I knew nothing about psychic phenomena and didn’t want to. The same went for anything religious. If someone brought up the subject of God I either changed the subject or looked for the nearest exit. On the tape I can hear in my voice that I am closed off, not really interested in what she is saying, doubting, but I do remember she gave me the name of a book called “The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” by Alan Cohen and also the name of a woman who might be doing a meditation class I could attend. I called her as soon as I got home and she wasn’t teaching anymore, but she had some books I could have if I wished. I drove over to her house and she gave me a large cardboard box full of new age books. Thus, my journey into unknown territory for my mind began.
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